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Name: Brian “Mustaches and Metal” Adler
Typical facial hair routine? The Barry Bonds Stimulus plan. Rinse. Apply steroids. Repeat until desired effect is reached. Or you hit 73 home runs this season.
Last time you grew a mustache and why? Prom. Why not?
Follicle type/texture? Smooth like Billy Dee Williams.
Best thing about growing a mustache? It makes everything you say hilarious.
Iconic Mustache of Choice? Tom Selleck. The ’stache alone has its own fan club.
If your mustache was a musical instrument, what would it be? A keytar. In black. Yea.
Favorite hair growing music? Lynard Skynard.
What’s your mustache’s favorite fighting move? Roundhouse Kick. Seriously.
Any upper-lip tips? Keep it smooth and always massage it. To speed up the process drink a shot of whiskey every morning.
Write a mustache haiku:
Its cold outside today again
I’m getting lip frost
wait..I have a stache for warmth
Long Live Mustaches and Metal!
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